Self Discovery (The Answer To Intentional Parenting)
I was raised in a Christian home. At an early age, I was taught that every human was created to solve a problem on earth. I was told I needed to find out what this problem was and resume seeking solutions to it.
It was difficult finding the right answers. Everybody had a way of passing on the “Search within” message. I searched within but couldn’t find.
Time flew by and the storms of life bellowed. Then in one night amidst the storm, I decided to fully get engaged in the Self Discovery process. Prior to this night, I was that young girl who sought attention and approval from the many people I came in contact with. I was that young girl who needed to displease me in order to gain the “Yes” of the world.
I searched and I found and it is this message I now pass on to other parents. Parents? Yes! Because we are our children’s first teachers and whether we like it or not, our home is the child’s first institution of learning. If we teach our children confidence, they will grow into bold and confident adults. If we teach fear, they will grow to be timid. Whatever we invest in them is what emanates through them in years to come.
One thing- You cannot give what you do not have. You can’t deposit the ability to stay organized in a child when yourself is in disarray. You cannot teach Tenacity when yourself lacks resolve. And even when the school system tries to input these skills, the home environment will take it away.
How then do we instill into the children the skills they need for the tougher years ahead of them? And even when we get to invest these in them, how do we give a person an item for which he knows not what to use it for?
To discover one’s self simply means to fully understand why we were created and what we were created to do. It means to journey through life in a deliberate and intentional manner. Self-discovery enables us to decide where we should be, what we should be doing and with whom we should be doing the “what”. It is an important process because:
- It helps us live focused lives. The kind of life that knows a distraction and does away with it as soon as it appears.
- We build better relationships. We begin to care less about what people think of us and quit seeking the approval of others. This will automatically remove the wrong people in one’s life and instead, draw the right ones in.
- It will help us find and stay in the right career. In the process of discovering ourselves, we dig deep into our inner beings, find our natural talents, and understand our personalities and unique capabilities. Which will, in turn, lead us to the right self-satisfying career.
- We become healthier. When we do not understand who we are, what triggers our emotions, what we stand for, why we are alive and for what we are alive, it stresses us physically, mentally and emotionally. It can lead to a meaningless and unhappy existence as it makes us depend on the values and belief systems of others.
- We become confident. Ever taught a subject you are very vast in knowledge about? You know the aura that radiates at such times? You are ready to answer any form of question your learners may want to pose? That is what self-discovery does. It makes you confident and bold such that it becomes difficult to be talked or looked down on.
As many more as the “whys” of Self Discovery are, it is important to note that it is a process that takes time and effort because there are different aspects to every human being. It is a very important journey every parent ought to undergo to be able to invest the right skills in the children and better guide them through life.
The parent who isn’t Self Aware cannot parent effectively. Such a parent can be likened to a blind man leading other blind men. The parent knows not which way to go, what lies ahead nor what may be needed for the journey that lies ahead.
We live in a world where there are just enough distractions to lead one to depression and frustration. Crime rates are on the increase on a daily basis. We live in a world where it’s all about oneself with empathy on the decline.
A person who is self-aware understands her role on earth. He/she understands that she was made to proffer solutions to a problem or problems. She understands that every problem has an individual in it. She understands that she lives to serve humanity. Her empathy level is high and because she understands that she was made unique to solve such a problem, she abstains from unhealthy competition. And in doing so, depression, frustration leading to crime is far away from her.
If there are more Self-Aware individuals, our society and the world at large will be a beautiful place to live in.
If the Parent would go through this process of Self Discovery in order to help guide the child through the same process, just maybe, that child would not discover himself amidst a crises!