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Things You Were Never Told About Parenthood


A few days back, while engaged in a discussion on life and issues surrounding life events, my colleagues and I drifted to the part people don’t talk about. The part that doesn’t sound so good nor appealing. The part people never include in their success stories. The tough part that usually always leads to the success we often see. We drifted to that part because we needed to outline a training module for some fresh secondary school graduates.

Of the many activities, we discussed was the part that had to do with the joy we witnessed on the faces of these young, fresh teenagers.

The hope shone too bright. Certain questions we had asked elicited answers that kindled a part of us. Such answers needed to be clarified or the children end up depressed and then seek help in drugs or crime!

The reason for this article.

Often times, when we want to venture into a particular area in life, we seek advice. Now here’s where the problem lies, we often are not told of the challenges associated with such a venture. How many of us were well informed of the challenges of having a new baby? Or parenting in general? This same logic applies to the very many activities we get engaged in as we journey through life.

So I thought to share – The things we are not told about Parenting.

  1. It is your number one purpose: The need for intentional parenting is hardly ever mentioned as we journey into this stage of life. You need to understand that your child is a priority.
  2. It will feel like a mistake: There will be times when you wished your kids could stay off. Times when you feel helpless. At such periods all we can do is get encouraged by the fact that the 2-year-old will never be 2 years again, and the 16-year-old will never be 16 again. This will make you enjoy the moment.
  3. It’s a forever thing: Even when they are old and grey, and you are older and greyer, you will still care for them.
  4. There’s no One-Size-Fits-It-All: Parenting is a unique experience. The children are different. Families are different. The principles in books and blogs will serve as a guide only.
  5. No privacy: Yes! And even in the loo. They are always everywhere. You just need to re-plan your schedule, factoring them into it.
  6. Longer term success record: Can’t tell if you’ve succeeded as a parent at the moment till well over 30 years when the child is fully grown, faces challenges and is able to overcome them.
  7. Weight gain is made easy: Due to the stress hormones released, and the fact that before you get the ice cream into his mouth, your buds get a taste of it.
  8. You’ll get detached from prized possessions: There’s this family friend of ours who never toyed with his home furniture. I wondered what it’ll be like having a toddler in such a home till I visited some time ago – The toddler was on one of them. I watched his countenance throughout the visit- he seemed less bothered, and only took time to ensure she was safe and not that prized table.
  9. Overreact the first time your child gets ill: I clearly remember when my first child was just about 2 years. One of the days she acted a bit out of the normal. Limping, crying and complaining of her legs. I remember clearly how scared I was. I remember quickly bundling her to the hospital, only to get into the clinic, and she’s fine! She’s walking and playing and dancing and jumping! I remember looking stupid.
  10. You will appreciate your parents better: This usually happens after the labour room experiences and continues as the kids grow.
  11. You would rather spend the last kobo on your kid than yourself as buying for them will make you happier than buying for yourself.
  12. You will learn to love kids movies and cartoons: you know, one of the days, my daughter goes “Mummy, you need to learn to see our movies with us.” So even if you don’t watch with them, you will be reminded of how important it is to like what they like.
  13. You have to be the mature one ALWAYS: How? By staying calm in the midst of chaos and taking charge of the situation.
  14. Friendships will disappear or change: relationships even with your parents may annoy you at times. Your spousal relationship will either grow or fail – but that shouldn’t discourage you.
  15. Love making becomes tiring and different: You’ll want sleep more than sex. In all, Parenting is rewarding!!!
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