Raising Children Who Neither Belong To The Living Room, The Kitchen, Nor The Other Room

In this part of the country, gender roles are taken very seriously.

The home has the man and the woman, the boys and the girls. The woman should submit, while the man should love. The girls should be “girly” while the boys should be “boyey”. That was how I was raised.

I have grown to know, the father provides for the home while the mother cares for the home. The girls should wash dishes and perform other domestic chores while the boys should play football. Errmmm… you remember the song – “Mother in the kitchen cooking rice, father in the parlour watching film”. In other words, there should be roles performed by the different sexes.

Today, we have the feminists with all sorts of views and opinions as regards gender. Some acceptable by few and some others, not acceptable.

In all of the brouhaha, one prominent point is the roles played by the different genders.

The boy is biologically different from the girl and it remains the same even as they grow into mothers and fathers. They, therefore, have separate biological roles they should perform. No doubt!

Every gender bias begins in the home.  So when a boy is to be born, we have all blues and for a girl, it’s all pink. As they grow, we get gender biased toys – balls, cars, tractors and all are for the boys, then dolls and kitchen items are for the girls. The boys are allowed to be adventurous and when a girl wants to tow the adventure line, we simply outline, “don’t you know you are a girl?”

They grow into teens. The girls have to serve food to the boys who are busy playing games with their friends in the living room.

So from birth, we begin to nurture in these kids the fact that the girls belong to the kitchen, the living room and the OTHER room as quoted by our prominent SIR!

Though we understand that history repeats itself, we also should be aware that whatever is being repeated is usually modified to suit the present day challenges. So yes, while the males still provide the sperm, and the females, the eggs (even though science has shown to be able to reverse roles) as has always been from time immemorial, roles are beginning to change.

Times are changing from when we had mothers sit at home and CARED for the family while the fathers PROVIDED, to when we have both father and mother providing for the family.

Why then should the woman be saddled with both the responsibility of caring for the home and also providing for the home while the men solely provide?

The woman goes to work with the man at the same time. Gets back at the almost same time, ensures the kids’ homework is done and dusted, food is set on the table, laundry is done, home is clean. The man gets back, takes his shoes off, gets a newspaper, sits in the living room and tunes to his favourite channel.

Then we ask, “must the woman work?’. I don’t even want to believe you asked that question and especially if you live in this part of the world where our currency has fallen beyond redeemable value. I will ask you, “Can the man be the sole provider? Providing for all needs (that of the woman inclusive) without grumbling?”

The question, “how are we raising the children?” should be answered.

Are we bringing them up in a way that they can adapt to whatever situation they find themselves in?

Times have changed! During one of the Gender discussions where it was being argued that a girl should be left to be a girl and a boy should be a boy. I wondered, “What if the home was made of just males or just females?”

Would it then imply that the boys wouldn’t wash dishes nor cook nor clean up the house? Or the girls won’t take the cars to the mechanic nor change a car tire nor replace a burnt bulb? I don’t get it!!!

I once overheard someone say, “you aren’t allowing HIM to perform his role as the first son” and I’m like wow, so a woman can actually be that tough as to shove a MAN to the side? But then, that is it!

In raising our children, let us not separate these domestic roles. A boy should be able to wash dishes and a girl should also be able to wash the cars without much ado.

That being established, we will be raising a generation of children who when they grow and have their homes, perform domestic roles without having Wedding sponsors come in to settle cases of SUBMISSION!