Emotional Intelligence And Parenting
Emotions are everything!
Being a parent is full of intense emotions – from moments of pleasure to challenging times, which all naturally arouse strong feelings that aren’t easy to dowse. But then, as I’d always say, the kids look up to us for guidance. Meaning, they are carefully and constantly observing to learn how to handle such emotional waves and tides. The reason for my focus on the Parent.
Some emotions that I’m aware of are better to let out, but in such an instance, it matters the way we handle the tide as it goes a long way to teach the children’ coping skills.
Prior to studying this aspect of parenting, I was a ‘yeller’. Doesn’t mean I don’t yell anymore, but that I’m more conscious of my emotions and the consequences of such outbursts and am trying to stick to the rules.
So on this particular day, one of the girls who could take ten minutes playing with her ‘toothpasted’ toothbrush, refused to brush her teeth. She gave all sorts of excuses to make her leave the bathroom. I attended to each and every one of them. In the end, I go, Do you see you just don’t want to brush your teeth? Next, she picks up her novel in one hand, toothbrush in another hand and is about to start reading while brushing. I ask her to drop the novel down and pick up after she’s done. She bursts out with a loud yell. Ok, it’s obvious she needed to let that yell out! She had been holding it back. I was getting impatient. Amidst the yell, I let the words out – This Lady, you are upset and are letting it out by crying but if you don’t start brushing in the next five minutes, you won’t have the novel to read through the day. That was it, and the wail got louder. I simply reminded her of the consequence after every one minute.
Of course, it was her first time getting mummy talk in that manner, she obviously couldn’t have taken me seriously – she bore the consequence.
It always is difficult scaling up especially in parenting, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. In fact, that particular morning, the other girls were surprised mummy had ‘changed’. LOL
You see, one of the hallmarks of great parenting is equipping the children with the skills they need for life – Emotional Intelligence, one of them. But how can we give what we do not have?
Emotional Intelligence simply put, means the ability to recognize emotions in yourself and others and to regulate your own emotions. I heard an emotions expert speak and she said, we should move from preparing to change the world and focus on changing ourselves, then, we can change the world. According to research, a child’s EQ skills are more important to school success than the ability to read or hold a pencil. EQ is a better predictor of success, quality of relationships and overall happiness.
As a driver of success, EQ doesn’t only apply to us in parenting, but also in our places of work: Relationship management, recruitment, decision making… EQ according to studies, is the Number One predictor of success!!! Emotional Intelligence can be learnt. It’s never too late to learn something new.
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